Consider this: Someone asks you to help out – to give them advice or a solution to a challenge they are facing.

“What would YOU do if you were me?”
“What do YOU think I should do?”

Do you ‘help’ your colleagues by doing the work for them? Or, rather, do you help your colleagues to be able to do the work themselves?

When she types in the word ‘just’, it gets deleted automatically. Why would someone want to do this?

I’ve repeatedly observed (and directly experienced) that when a coachee decides to self-disclose something – especially a thought or behavior that could make them feel vulnerable – they often continue to observe the coach, post-disclosure.

One of the core techniques in my coaching toolkit enables leaders to ask provocative open questions that catalyze new thought. It is very straight forward, and very effective.

“Can we please keep the video off?”, she asked. I immediately felt intense curiosity shooting...

That said, she was ‘down in the mouth’, concerned that she would not be an attractive candidate in the open job market.

I looked at the material and said something vague like, “I wonder if these two things are connected or related in some way."

I had been briefed by the trainer that the participant was particularly ambitious, quite young to be in such a senior position, and a father of two small children.

Anne can build up her brain’s self-command ‘muscle’; so that when she receives an ‘alert’ that something ‘bad’ is occurring, and her Judge shows up with its negative emotion, she can shift to the positive emotion of...

Anne’s passion and temper translated into unacceptable scenes of accusation and anger. As these outbursts appeared with more and more frequency, boss #2 went to HR.

The CHRO told me that the company had had some worries over time about how this leader managed his team of specialists

There was a critical tension between two people from the same country: A man in his 50s and a younger woman. He was her former boss, and now she had moved up …

An IPO was just around the corner and Maria had been told by a colleague that she would be replaced by someone external that was ‘more senior’.

Without it, the coaching capacity of the organization fails to grow as the coaches become embroiled in the complexities of having two roles within the system – most internal coaches have a ‘day job’ also – and the lack of support.

Why is it so hard for so many people to say ‘no’?

But what happens when our coachee asks THE question?

Coach: “What is impossible?”
Coachee: “Everything!” Scowls. “I am tired of feeling overwhelmed. I have been working longer hours. Even that isn’t helping! It is like my ‘to do’ list just expands along with them.” Lips shake.

Leaders – have you ever found yourself interrupting someone you are trying to coach? Interrupting is a fascinating topic. What’s really going on?

Managers have increasingly pointed to meetings as a major source of stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. Add in the impact of pandemic ‘screen fatigue’, and you’ve got a recipe for burnout. This month's Coaching Cube offers a treasure chest of useful meeting tips and solutions.

We've all been affected by the consequences of COVID-19, yet each in a different way. Metaphorically speaking, we're all in the same ocean – but we are each rowing in a different boat. 

Because Harry kept saying ‘yes’, and because his work was of such high quality, he’d ended up with...

Might a harmonious workplace in fact require unrest and excitement to achieve forward movement?

Warning bells went off, and I prepared to manage my energy.

How can one respond to a question one cannot answer?

I thought this person would be devastated by this feedback. Instead...

When our coachees realize that they have someone in front of them who is ‘all ears’, they might wander from their stated coaching topic and start ‘dumping’ all sorts of things

Are your coaching conversations running over, or threatening to?

Good coaching often involves unusually lengthy silences. What is actually going on during this still space?

It’s considered cool. More and more leaders are striving to develop a ‘coaching leadership style’. But what does that actually look like?

We were working on his coaching leadership style. He asked me to be tough on him, to challenge and not hold back.

I sometimes notice that I would like to bring something up, yet am not sure how to do so.

What can we as coaches do when our mind is flooding with great questions?

I don’t think that my high-achieving executive clients would agree with Mr. Twain.

The more I replayed it in my mind, the more I felt its power…so I have a question for you: “Do you ask for help when you need it?”

Is there a place for coaching at home? You decide.

(Repost)

Someone comes to you to discuss an issue they have. You ask some questions, and at a certain point, you feel like you have a pretty good grip of the situation. It is time to move to solutions, right?

(Repost)

It can be so easy to fall into ‘The Coaching Trap’.  Imagine that you are coaching someone, and you believe the conversation is going quite well...

We’ve all experienced it – that pause that appears after we’ve asked our coachee a particularly challenging question.

Have you ever wondered whether your coaching is reaching its full “making a difference for the coachee” potential?

Occasionally, we experience an event that we instantly know is going to change everything.

Is there even a sneakin’ chance that you tend to slip in advice by posing a leading question?

You might find it strange to hear a coach encourage a coachee to “get the job first, do the homework second”.

I had to call on every ounce of my professional coach acumen to squash my very needy thoughts in real time.

I began to notice that his rapid speech and (apparent) annoyance with my request to repeat himself had triggered me to wonder whether he was rather junior.

How many times have you caught yourself in conversation, but not listening at all?

My client told me a story we have all heard, or even lived ourselves. His relationship was dysfunctional and unhappy...

In several workshops during the last year, I revealed the profound “Three Layers of Deep Listening Model’

So how honest and direct can a coach get? Well, I really pushed the limit a while back.

The thought process created by being asked to choose from a menu of options is very different than that created by a powerful open question.

I resisted the temptation to do something mean just to prove him wrong, and thanked him for his feedback.

Dare to say to them what no one else in their life may have had the courage to say.

I have seen a handful of Talent Management programs go down the drain, partly because those selected as ‘having talent’ started to feel that they not only deserved special treatment (based upon hard work, exceptional performance, etc.); but that they were even entitled to it.

“I have to exercise more.” “I’ve got to start networking.” “I need to stop planning back-to-back meetings.” “I have to get on top of my Inbox.” “I’ve got to start leaving the office by 18:00.” “I need to spend more time with my team.“ Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

But what about contracting up front, right at the beginning of the coaching journey?

Have you ever found yourself floundering or a bit lost in a coaching conversation when your coachee goes off on a tangent, or when you're not sure which topic to discuss next?

While many say that pure coaching consists of giving no advice at all, I’ve heard many coaches confess that they do give advice from time to time.

I was caught completely off guard. I had no idea that this had been going on inside him.

A couple of years ago I was frustrated with a coaching session that I felt just hadn’t gone well.

Whether you are coaching someone, giving them advice when they are facing an important decision can be downright dangerous!

I’ve heard this so many times. It resembles a sigh, yet it’s different.  When a person sighs, they breathe in deeply, and slowly.  And then...

Then I said, “So it sounds like you are a good communicator.”  He winced as if I had stepped on his toe, and I asked him why.  He wasn’t sure.

I believe that failure can be celebrated, as long as we learn from it. This is a new perspective for many coaches, and also a gift...

Deep listening can take many forms, and this post is about what you can do when you find yourself NOT able to listen deeply.

Then you ask what you think is a great open question, and the conversation comes to a dead halt.  Silence.  What happens next?

I am frequently asked: “What theme comes up most often in your coaching sessions?”...

Have you ever been annoyed by a person you were coaching?  I have.  So what’s really going on, and how can we manage ourselves in these situations?

I think coachees send out ‘invitations’ all the time.  Here’s what it looks like:  During a coaching conversation...

“How can you achieve this goal?” Without any hesitation, you receive an answer. What do you do next?

Coaching conversations (and most conversations, actually) are much like two people walking down a road together. When they come to a crossroad,

Boring?  At first glance, the topic of note taking may seem to be one of the more mundane items to cover in a blog post on coaching.  I beg to differ

Someone comes to you to discuss an issue they have.  You ask some questions, and at a certain point, you feel like you have a pretty good grip of the situation.  It is time to move to solutions, right?

Recently I was listening to (what was in my opinion) a very chaotic story.  My coachee moved randomly from present, to past, to future, to past, to present, etc...

“It’s despicable!  I sent Marco an invitation a week beforehand, but never heard a...

Have you ever found yourself interrupting while coaching someone?

When the “Good question!” moment happens, I say, STOP!

Many of the people I coach are quite ambitious.  They set significant goals for themselves that seem to fall into one of two categories.

Here’s a scenario that repeats itself regularly while participants in our coaching programs are practicing their coaching skills.