the
coaching
cube

February 2024

Challenging Limiting Assumptions

Discover how a leader's journey uncover his hidden strength in intuition transformed his perspective. Could your underestimated abilities be your greatest assets?

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December 2023

Making Silence Comfortable

Silence is such a culturally sensitive topic! What do you consider to be the appropriate silence space between when one speaker ends and the other responds?

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November 2023

Coaching Tool: PAST – PRESENT – FUTURE

Whether or not you call yourself a coach, here is a swift and efficient way for you to get an overview of someone’s situation, and then quickly shift them to creating new solutions!

 

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October 2023

How to Avoid the ‘Help’ Trap: Part 2/2

Consider this: Someone asks you to help out – to give them advice or a solution to a challenge they are facing.

“What would YOU do if you were me?”
“What do YOU think I should do?”

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September 2023

How to Avoid the ‘Help’ Trap: Part 1/2

Do you ‘help’ your colleagues by doing the work for them? Or, rather, do you help your colleagues to be able to do the work themselves?

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May 2023

The Word 'JUST'

When she types in the word ‘just’, it gets deleted automatically. Why would someone want to do this?

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April 2023

Café Crème, s’il vous plaît?

I’ve repeatedly observed (and directly experienced) that when a coachee decides to self-disclose something – especially a thought or behavior that could make them feel vulnerable – they often continue to observe the coach, post-disclosure.

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March 2022

Let Me Do a Rewind

One of the core techniques in my coaching toolkit enables leaders to ask provocative open questions that catalyze new thought. It is very straight forward, and very effective.

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February 2022

Can We Please Keep the Video Off?

“Can we please keep the video off?”, she asked. I immediately felt intense curiosity shooting...

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January 2022

When It Comes to Assumptions, What If You’re Wrong??

That said, she was ‘down in the mouth’, concerned that she would not be an attractive candidate in the open job market.

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December 2021

Take a Look From the Balcony, Coach!

I looked at the material and said something vague like, “I wonder if these two things are connected or related in some way."

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November 2021

Permission Granted

I had been briefed by the trainer that the participant was particularly ambitious, quite young to be in such a senior position, and a father of two small children.

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October 2021

Living in Negative Emotion: Bearing the Brunt of the Judge (Part 2)

Anne can build up her brain’s self-command ‘muscle’; so that when she receives an ‘alert’ that something ‘bad’ is occurring, and her Judge shows up with its negative emotion, she can shift to the positive emotion of...

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October 2021

Living in Negative Emotion:
Bearing the Brunt of the “Judge”

Anne’s passion and temper translated into unacceptable scenes of accusation and anger. As these outbursts appeared with more and more frequency, boss #2 went to HR.

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September 2021

Yes but

The CHRO told me that the company had had some worries over time about how this leader managed his team of specialists

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August 2021

Team Coaching - I own this conflict too

There was a critical tension between two people from the same country: A man in his 50s and a younger woman. He was her former boss, and now she had moved up …

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July 2021

Hang On, Let Me Finish Speaking!

An IPO was just around the corner and Maria had been told by a colleague that she would be replaced by someone external that was ‘more senior’.

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June 2021

Is your coaching investment in jeopardy?

Without it, the coaching capacity of the organization fails to grow as the coaches become embroiled in the complexities of having two roles within the system – most internal coaches have a ‘day job’ also – and the lack of support.

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May 2021

How To Say ‘No’

Why is it so hard for so many people to say ‘no’?

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March 2021

GREAT Question, Coachee!

But what happens when our coachee asks THE question?

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February 2021

It's Noteworthy!

Coach: “What is impossible?”
Coachee: “Everything!” Scowls. “I am tired of feeling overwhelmed. I have been working longer hours. Even that isn’t helping! It is like my ‘to do’ list just expands along with them.” Lips shake.

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January 2021

The Act of Interrupting

Leaders – have you ever found yourself interrupting someone you are trying to coach? Interrupting is a fascinating topic. What’s really going on?

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November 2020

Are You Overwhelmed by Meetings?

Managers have increasingly pointed to meetings as a major source of stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. Add in the impact of pandemic ‘screen fatigue’, and you’ve got a recipe for burnout. This month's Coaching Cube offers a treasure chest of useful meeting tips and solutions.

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October 2020

The Power of Normalizing

We've all been affected by the consequences of COVID-19, yet each in a different way. Metaphorically speaking, we're all in the same ocean – but we are each rowing in a different boat. 

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September 2020

You’re on a Roll!

Because Harry kept saying ‘yes’, and because his work was of such high quality, he’d ended up with...

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August 2020

The Dissonance Within Harmony

Might a harmonious workplace in fact require unrest and excitement to achieve forward movement?

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July 2020

Leverage Those Strengths

Warning bells went off, and I prepared to manage my energy.

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June 2020

Aaaaaagh! I Don’t Know!

How can one respond to a question one cannot answer?

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May 2020

Breaking News: Coachee Writes Thoughtful Guidelines for Difficult Conversations!

I thought this person would be devastated by this feedback. Instead...

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April 2020

Getting Off Track?

When our coachees realize that they have someone in front of them who is ‘all ears’, they might wander from their stated coaching topic and start ‘dumping’ all sorts of things

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March 2020

You Don’t Need to Run Over!

Are your coaching conversations running over, or threatening to?

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February 2020

Silence? What’s Going On?

Good coaching often involves unusually lengthy silences. What is actually going on during this still space?

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October 2019

Have you tried …?

It’s considered cool. More and more leaders are striving to develop a ‘coaching leadership style’. But what does that actually look like?

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September 2019

Unanswered Questions

We were working on his coaching leadership style. He asked me to be tough on him, to challenge and not hold back.

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April 2019

May I?

I sometimes notice that I would like to bring something up, yet am not sure how to do so.

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March 2019

Don’t Pile ‘em Up!

What can we as coaches do when our mind is flooding with great questions?

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February 2019

Are You Confident Enough to be Ignorant?

I don’t think that my high-achieving executive clients would agree with Mr. Twain.

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December 2018

Asking for Help

The more I replayed it in my mind, the more I felt its power…so I have a question for you: “Do you ask for help when you need it?”

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November 2018

You Decide, Honey

Is there a place for coaching at home? You decide.

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September 2018

Pushing for Solution

(Repost)

Someone comes to you to discuss an issue they have. You ask some questions, and at a certain point, you feel like you have a pretty good grip of the situation. It is time to move to solutions, right?

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August 2018

The Coaching Trap

(Repost)

It can be so easy to fall into ‘The Coaching Trap’.  Imagine that you are coaching someone, and you believe the conversation is going quite well...

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June 2018

Take Your Time

We’ve all experienced it – that pause that appears after we’ve asked our coachee a particularly challenging question.

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March 2018

Getting the Unspoken on the Table

Have you ever wondered whether your coaching is reaching its full “making a difference for the coachee” potential?

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January 2018

Plot Twists

Occasionally, we experience an event that we instantly know is going to change everything.

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November 2017

Sneaky Questions

Is there even a sneakin’ chance that you tend to slip in advice by posing a leading question?

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October 2017

Unconventional Solutions

You might find it strange to hear a coach encourage a coachee to “get the job first, do the homework second”.

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September 2017

When the Coach Needs the Coaching

I had to call on every ounce of my professional coach acumen to squash my very needy thoughts in real time.

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August 2017

Listening Sublime!

I began to notice that his rapid speech and (apparent) annoyance with my request to repeat himself had triggered me to wonder whether he was rather junior.

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July 2017

Zippo Listening Going On

How many times have you caught yourself in conversation, but not listening at all?

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April 2017

When Executive Coaching Gets Personal

My client told me a story we have all heard, or even lived ourselves. His relationship was dysfunctional and unhappy...

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March 2017

Is Anyone Really Listening?

In several workshops during the last year, I revealed the profound “Three Layers of Deep Listening Model’

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February 2017

The Day I Did Not Hold Back

So how honest and direct can a coach get? Well, I really pushed the limit a while back.

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January 2017

No Menu, Please

The thought process created by being asked to choose from a menu of options is very different than that created by a powerful open question.

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November 2016

Should I Be Mean Now?

I resisted the temptation to do something mean just to prove him wrong, and thanked him for his feedback.

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October 2016

Are You Mr. Perfect?

Dare to say to them what no one else in their life may have had the courage to say.

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July 2016

Entitled or Grateful?

I have seen a handful of Talent Management programs go down the drain, partly because those selected as ‘having talent’ started to feel that they not only deserved special treatment (based upon hard work, exceptional performance, etc.); but that they were even entitled to it.

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June 2016

Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla

 

 realized that I had to actually interrupt him to get a word in edgewise, which would make me feel rude. I broke in anyway, saying…

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May 2016

No You Don't!

“I have to exercise more.” “I’ve got to start networking.” “I need to stop planning back-to-back meetings.” “I have to get on top of my Inbox.” “I’ve got to start leaving the office by 18:00.” “I need to spend more time with my team.“ Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

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April 2016

Cutting Deals Up Front

But what about contracting up front, right at the beginning of the coaching journey?

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March 2016

Cutting Deals!

Have you ever found yourself floundering or a bit lost in a coaching conversation when your coachee goes off on a tangent, or when you're not sure which topic to discuss next?

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February 2016

Who Takes the First Shot?

While many say that pure coaching consists of giving no advice at all, I’ve heard many coaches confess that they do give advice from time to time.

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October 2015

I'm Not an Idiot

I was caught completely off guard. I had no idea that this had been going on inside him.

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September 2015

No Second Chance!

A couple of years ago I was frustrated with a coaching session that I felt just hadn’t gone well.

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August 2015

How DARE You?!

Whether you are coaching someone, giving them advice when they are facing an important decision can be downright dangerous!

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July 2015

It is Just a Sigh

I’ve heard this so many times. It resembles a sigh, yet it’s different.  When a person sighs, they breathe in deeply, and slowly.  And then...

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June 2015

You are Fill in the Blank

Then I said, “So it sounds like you are a good communicator.”  He winced as if I had stepped on his toe, and I asked him why.  He wasn’t sure.

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May 2015

Failure!

I believe that failure can be celebrated, as long as we learn from it. This is a new perspective for many coaches, and also a gift...

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April 2015

Working Too Hard to Listen

Deep listening can take many forms, and this post is about what you can do when you find yourself NOT able to listen deeply.

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February 2015

The Conversation Stopper

Then you ask what you think is a great open question, and the conversation comes to a dead halt.  Silence.  What happens next?

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January 2015

I am Great

I am frequently asked: “What theme comes up most often in your coaching sessions?”...

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December 2014

I Wonder What That's About

Have you ever been annoyed by a person you were coaching?  I have.  So what’s really going on, and how can we manage ourselves in these situations?

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November 2014

Tell Me More

I think coachees send out ‘invitations’ all the time.  Here’s what it looks like:  During a coaching conversation...

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October 2014

What Else

“How can you achieve this goal?” Without any hesitation, you receive an answer. What do you do next?

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September 2014

The Power of Pulling It Together

Coaching conversations (and most conversations, actually) are much like two people walking down a road together. When they come to a crossroad,

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August 2014

Are You Taking Note?

Boring?  At first glance, the topic of note taking may seem to be one of the more mundane items to cover in a blog post on coaching.  I beg to differ

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July 2014

Pushing for Solutions

Someone comes to you to discuss an issue they have.  You ask some questions, and at a certain point, you feel like you have a pretty good grip of the situation.  It is time to move to solutions, right?

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May 2014

Take a Break

Recently I was listening to (what was in my opinion) a very chaotic story.  My coachee moved randomly from present, to past, to future, to past, to present, etc...

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April 2014

What was he THINKING?

“It’s despicable!  I sent Marco an invitation a week beforehand, but never heard a...

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March 2014

Interrupting

Have you ever found yourself interrupting while coaching someone?

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February 2014

Good Question!

When the “Good question!” moment happens, I say, STOP!

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January 2014

Out of my control!

Many of the people I coach are quite ambitious.  They set significant goals for themselves that seem to fall into one of two categories.

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December 2013

Your Number One Challenge: Stop Giving Advice!

Here’s a scenario that repeats itself regularly while participants in our coaching programs are practicing their coaching skills.

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