Who Is Your Role Model?

Some people are lucky enough to have grown up with role models in their own home. My father modeled how to manage one’s finances well, to provide for a sound future. My mother modeled how to coach others, way before coaching became a profession and an industry.

Since childhood, I have broadened my stable of role models to include dozens and dozens of people. And I continue to do so!

Not unlike situational leadership, where I adapt my style of leading to the needs and skills of my team; I exercise situational role “modelship”. Depending on the situation, I choose one of my role models to inspire me to solve the challenge at hand.

Now let’s bring this back to my coaching. I will recall two past sessions, with two different coachees, where this technique for finding solutions was exactly what was needed. I believe it is an under-tapped approach. Could it be that when two people are looking for solutions, the answers are cleverly hiding in their role model stables?

CASE 1

My coachee wanted to bring her leadership to the next level. When we explored what that would look like, she could not come up with anything very concrete. So, I asked her – “Is there someone in your past who has been a role model of what you are striving for?”

After a brief silence, she confirmed that a teacher of hers fit the bill.

I asked her what that teacher did exactly that she found so inspiring.

She easily came up with a robust list of behaviors and qualities that were fully connected to the leadership style for which she was striving. I took notes – she was too busy recalling.

We suddenly had something very concrete to work with!

CASE 2

This coachee was faced with needing to implement the next ‘transformation’ – meaning that he would be reorganizing his massive area and would need to deliver some tough messages as to who could stay and who needed to go. Many of you might recognize this.

He wanted to clarify an approach that was ethical, empathetic, and transparent. He was at a loss as to what to do, as there were so many factors he needed to consider.

I asked him if he had ever seen anyone with a similar challenge, who had handled it in a way that he respected. He quickly recalled a boss (two bosses back) who had indeed, been a role model!

I asked him what that former boss did exactly that worked so well. He easily came up with a robust list of actions and communications that his former boss had taken that were so effective. I took notes – he was too busy recalling.

We suddenly had an action plan in the making!

Where Can You Use This?

The theme here is that when your coachee is striving for a general presence shift that entails a broad range of behaviors – role modelship might work!

It is within our stable of role models – acquired over time – that we may find the behaviors we need to solve the problem at hand.

Who in your past might be a role model for what you are trying to achieve?